As the sun sets

In the liturgical rule, the sunset signifies the start of all Holy Feasts in the Church. It usually begins with the office of Vespers on this particular feast day. Its message tells us that we must spiritually prepare, both our minds and our bodies, in order to condition ourselves as we celebrate this particular feast.

Tomorrow, before the sun sets, we will return to our spiritual home, which is the Seminary. Summer has been good to us; for two months we were able to take a rest from the rigors of the life in the seminary, we have cherished memories, both joyful and painful, and we have prepared ourselves before returning as 3rd year college seminarians.

It will be sad that to see some of our comrades didn't make it to the recommendation list made by priests and some voluntarily left, and will not be with us in this new chapter of our journey. We are very uncertain if we will be able to finish our studies in the seminary, but with God's help, we will overcome all trials and reach to the top.

So please, our dear followers, unceasingly pray for us that may God, by his loving grace, mold us to become good seminarians and become one of His great priests.

May 29: Blessed Rolando Rivi and the modern seminarian

 

So far, we have posted on the blog two articles which touched on the life and virtues of Blessed Rolando Rivi: one, which deals about his dedication to Christ, the other on his fidelity to the seminary life, which is found in his love for his cassock.

Now, after these two articles, we (modern seminarians) can ask ourselves: after seeing the life and virtues of the blessed martyr, what can he teach us today and how can we live out the same courage and bravery of Rolando in our present (less-dangerous, perhaps) age.

First, as we have said, Rolando is a model of dedication to Christ. Every seminarian knows that the seminary is a path of self-transformation in order to become an “alter Christus”. If we take seriously the formation we have willingly undertaken, we will find ourselves joyfully announcing to the world: “Io sono di Gesu” “we belong to Jesus”. And this belongingness to Christ must not be limited to words, but it should permeate every action and thought that we have as well. Eventually, this affinity to Jesus will help us generously offer ourselves to the Church whom we will love and serve as future priests.

Second, Rolando is the model of a faithful son of the Church. His fidelity to seminary formation, even to the smallest detail (the faithful wearing of his cassock), is a shining example that must be held before the eyes of every seminarian and priest. He may be young, but his example is a silent yet strong testimony for all of us. Whenever we find ourselves complaining of the seminary routine, or whenever we find seminary life monotonous, boring and useless, let us try to remember again the example of countless seminarians who have found happiness and sanctity in their formation. No matter where the seminary road may take us, let us take it as an opportunity to imbibe intense love for the Church.

Finally, Rolando is a shining example of sacrifice. Seminary formation is truly a life of sacrifice: the not-so-good atmosphere is constantly a challenge for us, especially for those who are accustomed to a good life. And when faced with the opportunity to sacrifice, we must not shrink from it nor embrace it with grudges: let us imitate our Lord and Blessed Rolando, who went to the altar of sacrifice, their Calvary with a smile on their face, with love in their hearts and with an intense love for the Church.

May Blessed Rolando inspire us to become more like Jesus everyday, so as to become good and faithful servants in the vineyard of the Lord!

                           

O God,

merciful Father,

who chose the small 

to confound the powerful of the world,

we thank You for having given us, 

in the seminarian Rolando Rivi,

a testimony of total love

for Your Son, Jesus, and the Church,

unto the sacrifice of his life.

Enlightened by this example, 

and through Rolando’s intercession,

we ask You to give us the strength 

to be always living signs of Your love in the world,

and we beg You to grant us the grace of [here state your petitions],

which we ardently desire.

Amen.

ESSAY TIME: LOVE AND SACRIFICE

(Author’s Note: The essay was made by the author, and the commentary [originally in a mix of English, Tagalog and Visayan] was made by a good friend of his, then edited-cum-translated by the author. Enjoy!)

“How much are we willing to give up for the ones we love?”

This question rings up in my ears whenever I hear someone talk of love and sacrifice. It is often that one of the best expressions of love is sacrifice, and that genuine sacrifice does not exist without love; but what are we to make of these lines, which are often clichés or (in Filipino context) “hugot lines”?

_________________________

A few months ago, we were asked by our English teacher to come up with an essay on ‘Love and Sacrifice’: hence, I made one, out of compliance. But because I failed in this attempt (I got 78 at this paper), I began reading the works of other brothers… I opened Besh Kuroyanagi’s locker and found his essay among his stacks of books, papers and biscuits… (I admit, Kuro-yan,  I stole some of your biscuits because of hunger… Will you then forgive me?)

I don’t know if Kuro-yan was sermonizing (again) or was just defending his “Mr. Hugot” title, but this piece made my day: it made good sense for me and for the others who probably have read his paper.

But little did I know that when these two are truly combined, it can make a hurtful yet meaningful experience for me… Because of these two, I can truly say to myself that I am not anymore indifferent to my own feelings… that I am now in touch with my human-ness.

Today, this essay of mine will do the opposite; it will use some excerpts of his essay as the base, and then I will begin sharing my own experiences as this piece unfolds. I hope it does justice to what Besh Kuro-yan has posted.

(By the way, I thank him for reading this paper, and I know he has the guts to translate this paper, if he wishes to publish it on his blog…. Besh naman oh!)

____________________

Today, we often find the word LOVE abused and misused. It has gone from its glory days to being a cheap word: it, being commodified and relativized, can be merely bought or talked upon by two conniving ruffians. A simple date in the restaurant, a night of hot sex in the hotel, or maybe just a simple chat and text by some devotee of cheesy lines may be interpreted by modern society as love. But sadly, lovers of this modern age think of their state today as a utopia, where authentic commitment, self-giving and sacrifice are non-existent. They would prefer to act wild and carefree rather than face the “consequences” of engaging into a commitment/covenant called love. Why?

_____________

Before, I knew the dangers of being in relationships of all sorts…. When we were still kids, our parents taught us to be wary of people who may use, abuse and distort us, and asked us to steer ourselves away from these kinds of people.

In high school, they particularly warned us not to enter into a romantic relationship: seeing my cousins getting pregnant out of wedlock, with their partners little or not responsible for them, made me cringe… I’d rather not marry!

And added to this sort of ‘fear’ was my earnest desire to become a priest: for me, priesthood was a better way to serve God and his people. I served him faithfully as a server, as a catechist, as a Christian for many years: why would I bother to find a woman and do normal stuff, when I can do better as a priest?

_____________________

It is because sacrifice has gone out of the equation. Sure, we are willing to give the time and the treasure; but all of these do not work without sacrifice. Sacrifice primarily deals with self- giving, as Saint Ignatius of Loyola would say; “to give and not to count the cost.... to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor yet not asking for any reward”. Sacrifice entails giving ourselves until we hurt.

____________________

When I entered the Seminary on 2012 (Author’s Note: with meee! *Kuro-yan*), I realized that the priesthood was not a bed of roses: the many activities, routines and endeavors that we pursued demanded our very selves: time, talent, treasure and trust. Even in the very first year of my formation, I realized that the demands of the priesthood were too much for any normal human being to carry alone, and so I had to rely on the gift and the grace of God to help me continue what I have undertaken.

As the school year ended, I (and the author) decided to take a very unique promise: that is, not to desire any other vocation (even priesthood), but to let the Will of God decide whatever vocation it may deem me worthy of. Even if it hurt my ego, I still took it and let it rip off….

And it has given me quite a fun adventure!

__________________

Why do we sacrifice? Why do we give? It is because we love that person. In loving them, we naturally tend to think of their good, even while disregarding our own good. For the lover, the good of the beloved, their love is good itself for him/her.

Even if the beloved does not notice our efforts, as long as he/she enjoys his/her freedom in being loved, everything is alright. In sacrifice, we find the fullest expression of our love, and in receiving the fruits of sacrifice, we acknowledge that we are truly loved by the lover who loves us.

___________________

And so it happened, that once upon a time, I fell in love. (It was still a part of that vocation-discerning plan I promised myself some time ago) Yes, despite the taboos and the seminary rules, I still got in love with someone. We spent a lot of time together; we shared a lot of things in common, even if I knew that she had someone else on her mind.

And so it happened that when everything was (almost) right, she decided to follow her heart and still love that other person. Ouch! That hurts! Even if she did not tell it to me directly, I already sensed it deep inside my mind.

I would like to tell her that it’s over: we must part ways.

And so, I decided to cut lines with her: for the good of herself, myself and of others who may be involved with the process.

I indeed learned that the best way to love was to give her what she wants- even if it is very painful for me to accept. It was too painful in reality, my dears. I still loved her, yes, but it seemed that if we will continue, it will be to the detriment of both of us. We still have our own dreams and challenges to face, and a bright future is still ahead of us.

I went through sleepless nights, boring days and moments where I wished I could turn back time and undo everything to stop these things from happening… But it gradually came upon me that everything happens for a reason: this was to cure my indifference to my own feelings and to the feelings of others. Life is not merely a ‘do-this-and-you-will-get-this” routine, but it is essentially a risk, a beautiful risk.

And, as I was rumbling through my papers last night to find my birth certificate (I was asked to continue my AB Philo in UIC by my parents… I was sent out of the Seminary last school year by Kuroyanagi’s grandfather.), I found this essay by my besh. I cried a lot when I read it, simply because from what I thought was mere “sermonizing”, was a real experience for me.

_________________

To fully understand and realize the unity of love and sacrifice, regardless of which comes first, let us go back to our opening question: “How much are we willing to give up for the ones we love?”. If we do not really give up something for the ones we are supposed to love, then our love will be just a show of words. If we constantly give up something without truly appreciating the ones we love, then it is all in vain.

_________________

Author: I would really like to place this quote from “Unlucky I’m In Love With My Bestfriend” (Oo na nga, he’s reading Wattpad, but he’s not a she ha!)… This quote definitely has something to say about my “sermonizing” and my friend’s experience

“LOVE involves SACRIFICE. It means sacrificing your own happiness to see your loved one happy.”

(Besh, bumasa ka na nga nitong Wattpad. This might help in recovery- Kuroyanagi)

__________________

In the bottom line of this discussion, we finally ask ourselves; why do we love? Why do we give? Answers and opinions may vary among each of us. But for me, it is because in being deeply in love that we see the face and the heart of God in someone else’s face, in someone else’s heart. And in seeing God-in-them, the God-within-us reaches out and tries gives itself in its fullness, so that there may develop an actualization of two persons becoming one in God’s gift called love. Love forms a community; it forms one mind, heart and being. Love is an entrance to greater communion, in which God, the lover and the beloved form an inseparable union.

____________________

And I guess, Mr. Hugot Kuroyanagi has a much better conclusion than I have, and so we will let him end this essay. This is my thoughts as well for this evening.

And I’m off to set another journey on my own: I’ll take up a good course in that school, and I’ll make sure I’ll visit Kuro-yan and his other friends in XACOSE…. (and make payback by bringing him his favorite biscuits! KING FLAKES pa more!)

I’ll continue seeking out the path the Lord calls me to: and as usual, I’m always ready and willing to dare to love. I'm not shying myself again from a responsibility and a gift: to love...Amen!

___________________________

Eventually, after all that has been shared and said in this essay, we are still left to reflect on the intertwined and bittersweet mysteries of love and sacrifice. Love is a mystery that constantly unfolds, and when it unfolds in us, we are then led into the path of fullness. Besides, the real understanding of love does not always come in essay form, but it is primarily understood in the context of our day-to-day actions. What is important for us today is that we are daring and willing enough to love.

________________________

PS- And I wonder, pala Besh Author, kemusta na lovelife mo? Wala pa rin ba?

(Author: Of course, wala pa nga! Langhiya ka!)

Being in the middle of Alpha and Omega: something VERY deep....

The path of grateful acceptance begins with self-negation.

We let go of others to receive more.

We always tend to look at one side, and we fail to look at the other, because we are so engrossed with the idea of enjoying life from the side we are in now, from the side which we often dream of....

But what if we begin to think of the other side, and the challenges of transition that accompanies it.... what if we begin enjoying the other things life can give us....

Where the need to possess ends, the need to give life begins...

Where the need for closeness ends, the challenge to be "always there" begins...

Attachment is both a blessing and a curse: man is destined to stay and remain.... and the whole cadence of "staying" and "letting go" must proceed to give man a stable course.

Where staying ends, the need to go further begins...

Where human fantasies end, the path of contemplation beckons...

Where passion ends, love begins.

Our contemplation of end-beginnings (contrasts) show how life is fleeting, yet at the same time it reflects how life is colorful and beautiful enough.... even if you look at it with gray spectacles.

To every end is a beginning,
to every moment of death is a moment of life,
to every crumpled sheet, is a new one prepared,
to every night, is the dawn of another day,
at the end of every heartbeat, is the beginning of another one.

To God, Alpha and Omega, be glory and praise, from our beginnings and ends.. because you are the Lord of time and space, the almighty... Amen.

Social media

In this post-modern era, we are wired by the influence of social media. They became a part of our lives, and everyday we never miss a day without checking our email, Facebook, Tumblr (only girls use tumblr), Youtube and other social accounts. Of course we constantly check, like and share various funny posts and quotes that we seem to laugh or to relate at with. They can be inspirational quotes, 7-second Vine videos, funny pictures, various kinds of meme pictures shared from 9gag or for some, Imgur. I am a fan of memes, particularly Countryball memes.

Some of our friends and most people, particularly those who were famous, make funny videos and funny faces in pictures in order to spread good feeling to their fans and to their friends. They also make pictures that portray reality in the form of ridicule and sarcasm, especially when it comes to social issues, world events and their observation of daily life. They post the things they want to say from the heart and want to say wise things, share to their friends because they want to express themselves of their feelings to their friends in the Internet, or share some, well, "wisdom".

These things are very okay, but it seems online materials feed our own narcissism that we keep on glorifying ourselves and often claim about how "cool" and "hip" we are but entirely different in real life. With these online materials, we can use this in order that the people will accept us of who we are, in order that people would look unto us as "wise", "witty", "enlightened" and in order to become cool in our own ways. But you would realize that everything is an illusion. The Internet is entirely designed to make people closer through communication and entertainment but not shamelessly express our stupidity.  In the end, it is only you that matters most.  The one who is entirely different, entirely private, entirely naive and unaware that all of these things only come to pass. We would find another way for ourselves to express  and to make our audience feel good about it, especially about you.

But in the end, it would only lead you to nowhere.
You're just wasting many hours on PC or in smartphone on these trivial stuff.

The Song of Friendship: A reflection on the spirituality of friendship

Our life as individual beings can be, most of the time, likened to the things we love. Life for some can be likened to a movie, a road, an infinity pool, or a race (if they seem to like living life on the fast lane). But I would like to liken my own life to a thing I absolutely love: songs. Whether I’m on my tub, or travelling on my way to work or simply listening to a good friend sing her heartwarming songs (I hope she does not read this, joke!), songs are a good way of self-expression and communication.

St. Augustine of Hippo would often say that songs are for lovers, an ancient proverb of the Church would note as well that singing is praying twice. And for those born yesterday, a song that I like from the movie “The Book of Life” speaks eloquently about it; 

“Live life like it's a song

 so turn it on and sing along,

 it's alright if it goes wrong, 

just keep calm and carry on.”

(Jesse & Joy, Live Life from The Book of Life official soundtrack)

And one of the reasons why life is worth living is the gift of friendship. Just as how life can be eloquently expressed as a song, friendship is a song taken by two or more people. It makes sense to call life a web of friendships and relationships. Anyhow, these are the few things I mused about the song of friendship, which are really some few tips necessary to “sing”  it well today.

1. This song demands someone to sing it along with- For most of us, karaokes are not fun if there is somebody to join us in singing, or simply just to make comments (puna) with our voice. Friendship as song demands a duet: two is always better than one. Friendship as song is to express one song beautifully as we can, not two separate songs sung at the same time (which is a veritable disaster!).

2. It often has high notes and low notes- We cannot choose which notes we are to sing. If we do “choose”, the song becomes meaningless and kaput. Performing the part of duets well demand that we sing all notes, regardless of anything, until the end. It may happen that the person may also go out of tune with the song, but a good person will not mind it. They must be able to keep themselves together from falling apart.

3. The song of friendship is best sung with the heart, not with the mind. Although a sane head is a necessary prerequisite for a good relationship, the ‘sanity’ of the heart matters as well. Just as much as the other tries to “be careful with your heart” (as Jose Mari Chan would popularly croon in one of his hits), you have to reciprocate it as well. Lest if you try, the worst happens.

4. The goal of the song is to love twice, thrice or even a lot of times. Without this primary requirement, we end up treating persons as strangers or mere acquaintances. Without the love present in the hearts of those involved, we unknowingly or knowingly use them. 

The song of friendship is the song of the heart, the song of life and the song of God’s love. If we happened to forget all of these in the name of petty problems or other forms of rivalry, do not worry. There is always a second chance, a replay and an encore performance. 

One day, let us hope that the Friend of us all, the Lord, will tell us that we have excellently performed this task, that of singing the communion of persons as a means towards the greater glory of God. Amen.

________________________________________

Admins: Do not post on the Facebook page unless directed to. (The Troll)

The Primacy of the Self: A letter to Malone

(I am asking the other admins NOT to post this on FB unless I direct it to be. Is it clear?

The Troll )

13 April 2015

Saturday of the Third Week of Easter

Holy Spirit Adoration Convent, Davao

Dear Malone,

I hope you do have the guts and the courage to read this. I am very, very, very frank this time, and I am not taking any limits to writing here. I speak here in a very truthful, human and frank way.

One of the characteristic traits of the modern world is 'amor proprio', that is, love of self. From taking selfies to eating food and drinking up to the bottle all by oneself, the modern man is trained to become cognizant of his own needs, his own wants, his own desires, his own self. And so, the modern person, or the modern kid/teenager grows up to 'worship' or 'adore' a trinity of "Me, myself and I".

But what most of us, individual persons collectively taken, forget is that when we often look at ourselves, we often forget others in the picture. When we narrow down to what we will do in a particular situation, we often overlook at what will happen to others as a result of what we do. Similarly, our reaction to that particular reaction will affect others as well.

And with this so-called "primacy of the self", comes three major falls in relationships:

1. Your relationship with your authentic self- You immediately forget your true nature: you are a community!(If we are to take up Fr. Sensei on this point) you are a person for others! (I do hope Ateneans read this point) you are a SOCIAL being! (if we are to take modern psychology...) 

This is a truth that demands to be told daily: your self worth is determined by the time and by the effort you give to others, your dignity is not really something based inherently, but it is looked at a communitarian viewpoint.

And that is the authentic self.

2. Your relationship with others- It takes two to tango, two to boogie, two to cha-cha, and one to do budots (which is not part of the main idea, anyway!). The dance of life demands two or more people to fully swing it into rhythm. Your mom did not do it alone, she needed Dad to get her into the game of motherhood. You did not grow up alone socially, you needed your friends.... You  do not love alone, it is not real love if it happens. You do not love shadow versions of others, you love who they are, them with all their faults, weaknesses and imperfections. 

If you begin loving your self too much, your relationships with others tangle up. Because unknowingly, you play persons to achieve ends, not things to achieve a better sense of community (which is legitimate, anyhow!). 

3. Your relationship with God- God is a community of persons: Father, Son and Spirit. Their unity of love is the model of human existence. Man is called not only to live, but to exist. Existence denotes three things: communion with self, others and God. Lose one and you fail to exist in the minds and hearts of others.

If you love the self, God will then be for you a commodity, a dummy that can be controlled to your whim. If he acts to your favor, happy are you! If he doesn't, you suddenly ask 'what's wrong with the world/God/universe?' when you are the one who is actually in trouble. If you happen to be in ministry, love of God is NOT anymore the main reason for ministry/service. You end up doing everything for your own ends.

And that's the three major falls that happen as a result of amor proprio.

Blame it on modern ideology, technology, faulty family background or even as early on in academics you were trained to excel and outsmart, outplay, outshine others.... But the crux of the matter rests on what you do with yourself. What you are is not defined by these things; believe me that will not last long. What will last long is a good name, a good character and a good number of people who will say to themselves: "this man or woman lived short/long, and it was fruitful". 

The self is a very tricky person to play with. It can make or break you, depending on how you play with it. But the way of perfecting the self comes from the very letters of the word "self". Remember, you are called to:

S-ervice

E-xcellence

L-ove

F-idelity

and that's the remedy for egoistic mentality. That's how we overcome too much love of self.

________________________________________

Here, to be direct about everything...

I reminded you from time to time that I am not perfect, I am a person bound to fail, and especially to fail your expectations, or probably your feelings. And if you leave me hanging next time without telling me why, you are making me worry very much, without your knowledge. Hence, I am constantly praying not only for myself (for pardon or some sort of strength), but for you (that you may realize, that you can understand) everyday. 

If I had told you things in a brutal manner, forgive me for it was simply me and my faulty head. (I admit, I do have the same problems as you have) Yet, openness was a key factor when we begun communicating. We defined it well.... And this was what I simply asked of you. And now you are barring it from me... are you still you, Malone?

And finally, here are three questions, Malone, before we talk again:

1. Have you thought of what may happen if you listened to your self alone when in "down" moments? Have you realized what distance means to other people?

2. Have you thought of failure as an important test of any relationship. If I fail, does it mean I am not anymore your friend?

3. You know that I am very quick to forgive, but not to forget: what can you do in this situation to help remedy yourself? 

Finally, I hope this letter was not long to read. You still have people to teach and you still have many people to love and to serve. And for it, I wish you all the best, and I pray for God to bless you in your life as a student, an active lector and a friend to many. 

And I ask you to pray for me, despite my humanity and my frailty. I humbly beg you for it!

From here, I remain your spiritual father, your friend, your brother and companion,

"confidant"

(PS- Tell the Troll immediately of your feelings and reactions on this post, he is much willing to explain, explain further, apologize or what... to you.)

(For other readers who may wish to discern...)