Why I am not much into TLM anymore? (A repost)

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This is a repost from my friend Rafael Vicho's blog. I thank him for articulating into words what I felt since I was in Pre-College; a slight dislike of the Traditionalist Movement and its attitudes.

I like the TLM, but not the Traditionalists.

I wish to celebrate the TLM, but not with them.

I love Tradition, but not the Traditionalists.

Cheers,

semncsator

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Years ago, just before graduating college, I started to attend the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite, also commonly known as the Traditional Latin Mass/Traditional Latin Rite/Mass according to Blessed (and soon-to-be-saint, just few days from now!) Pope John XXIII/1962 Roman Rite. Nah! So many terms. But to make it simple, I'll just use the term "EF Mass" - short for Extraordinary Form, as what the Summorum Pontificum says, released by Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI when he is still the highest authority of the Church before he was replaced by Cardinal Bergoglio renamed as Pope Francis. There was even a time that I served as an altar server in a now-dissolved (and reshuffled) group of EF Mass advocates.


I admit it, I love the mass. I love the sacred music which is inseparable from the liturgy. I love how the mass reflects my faith as a Catholic. In fact, such form of the Roman Rite strengthens my conviction that the Catholic Church is indeed the Scriptural Church. This is after realizing how the Holy Bible is very much expressed through the five senses - the majestic smell of the incense; hearing the orthodox preaching of priests and those beautiful chants of the sacred music coming from the choir; the beautiful arrangement of the altar and the captivating design of the sacred vestments; the taste of the sacred species during the Holy Communion; and the feeling of sitting, standing, kneeling and having your hands together while watching and witnessing the Calvary continued on the sacred altar.


Also because of the EF Mass, I got to know different kinds of people. Some of them I become my friends, others - sadly - become my enemies. But most of them were only in speaking terms - only when it comes to the Mass, Catholicism and other related stuffs. I've encountered various opinions coming from those people. Some has the revolutionary point of Catholicism from the -super-duper-ultra-mega-traditionalist perspective. Others....well....they just want to attend the Mass to fulfill their Sunday obligations - even if they don't really understand the Latin language at all (that's it!). There are some who has this ambitious dream for the TLM movement. These TLM dreams ranges from: having the more-than-complete TLM kit set to be carried anywhere; to more money and cash donations to buy more vestments and mass tools; to have many priests who are always available to celebrate the EF Mass if needed (or wanted, whichever it will be...); to the Pope will celebrate EF Mass at St.Peter's Basilica; up to the most radical one which is to dissolve the New Form of the Mass (or the Novus Ordo Mass) altogether and require all churches to celebrate only the EF Mass - no excuses! Well, there is nothing wrong in dreaming. I am just hoping that those dreams are in line with what the Catholic Church dreams of.


Also because of the EF Mass, I encountered the group of people that influences and changed my path of life - which is the Franciscans of the Immaculate - though sometimes I "somewhat rebel" against its Marian-Franciscan way of life. Maybe because I am a person who is sympathetic to conservative, moral principles but I hate inflexibility of implementing those principles in daily lives. They had celebrated the EF Mass - until the directive came by which shocked the bones and pride of the EF Mass fanatics. These folks attracted me so much - to the point that I want to be part of them. It is just that a religious life is not my calling. These peepz let me appreciate the Catholic faith more through their honest simplicity and humility. I indeed love the FI - up to now. :)))


I am really sympathetic with the FI - even to the point of bashing those who are misinterpreting the things surrounding the FI against the ecclesiastical rumormongers. I myself was bashed by a former colleague of mine in an apologetics circle because of that "FI-was-banned-to-celebrate-EF-Mass" issue - in which I consider myself not a member of such a group anymore. Up to now, we are not in good terms - which is not the expected fruits of the so called "Mass of the Ages".


Now my question is this: If the EF Mass had contributed to the sanctifications of many saints and blessed, then how come that in my experience of being with the EF Mass movement, it is the other way around? Sometimes, I have this gut feeling that those who are attending the liturgically-abused Novus Ordo is even holier than those who are attending the EF Mass. This is because those "commoner Catholics" attending the Novus Ordo Mass only knows that they are attending mass to give thanks and praise to God - in which that is what the essence of the liturgy is in the first place.


I've also witnessed how friendship was shattered in the EF Mass movement. I've also lost a close friend of mine in relation to the EF Mass movement in which that person used to be active with. I've witnessed a EF Mass goer who returned to its former sect/false religion because of the bad things happening in the EF Mass movement. I've seen calumnies throwing against each other by the EF Mass peepz themselves - just like a volleyball ball bouncing back and forth in the volleyball court during the actual game. I've encountered the most condescending and the most unforgiving person I've met ever in my life in the EF Mass. I've also encountered those "weirder-than-weirdest" folks who have "weirder-than-alien" ideologies: ranging from "Blessed-and-soon-to-be-Saint-John-Paul-II-is-still-alive-up-to-now" thing; then the"Maria-Divine-Mercy-bruhaha" visions; to the "aspiring-saints-cosplayers" wearing liturgical vestments and habits in which they are not even authorized to do so; and even up the "oust-Cardinal-Tagle" movement, "Pope-Francis-is-the-antipope-with-the-sign-of-the-mark-of-the-beast" idea, and - the weirdest of all - the "Mama-Mary-is-the-incarnate-of-the-Holy-Spirit" bruhaha!!! (paging Mariologists!!!).


Now I don't serve in the EF Mass anymore. I do attend sometimes, but rarely. Now I am considering myself not an avid part of the so-called "Tridentine Mass Movement" or "Societas" terms or whatever Latin names that they can come up with to identify their "Latinized ideology". I am not against the EF Mass. I just against on the people and their "extraordinary attitude" that I myself can't think of a single adjective to describe them.


Some may call me immature, but the question is, what is the essence of that piece of motu proprio that liberates the use of usus antiquior? Does that moto proprio means rebellion against the present state of liturgy, or the expression of what liturgy is all about, without suppressing someone? Does the Summorum Pontificum intend to divide the Catholic brethen between the "progressive-liberal-liturgical innovators" on the left and the "nostalgic-conservative-rubrically correct" rightist, or an attempt to unite all into the one Catholic faith and expressing that oneness through the liturgy?


I got an answer from the Franciscans of the Immaculate.


During those times that they are still celebrating the EF Mass, I found something in them that I didn't find in any other TLM Masses I've attended to. At FFI, I found one thing: SINCERITY. They celebrate the EF Mass not because of show or just to brag to the whole entire universe that they are following the Summorum Pontificum. They don't say: "Hey! We celebrate the EF Mass! See that!!! We are following the rubrics properly! We have the best choir in a bunch! We are now good!" No, I didn't see that in any FFI priests that I've encountered celebrating the EF Mass. They do the EF mass simply because they follow and obey the Pope. They do the EF mass out of sincerity, and not out of showy display.


I am not a liturgical expect. In fact, I am not considering myself as part of those "elitist Catholic apologist" who spends time in analysing Church issues online and ecclesiastical discourse, though I tried to be before. This is in fact my primary reason why I thought that apologetics id not for me at all. It is just that, that being an "elitist" is not me. I am not a hyper-intellectual scholastic graduate of a high caliber university. I am not a child of any prestigious Catholic movement. I am just an typical Catholic, going to mass every Sunday and trying to live a life despite of my sinfulness and imperfections that I always have. I am just a person who is trying to be myself as I can be.


I may not be part of the TLM movement, but the EF Mass will always be part of my life as a Catholic. I may not be the best or the most perfect or the holiest Catholic that I can be, but rest assured, that the EF Mass will always be have a part in my heart. I am not totally leaving the EF Mass movement, but I'd be rather on their back, watching them. I am looking forward that someday, I will serve again at the EF Mass - in God's time.