“Forgiveness is caring; caring is loving”

(Edited/summarized version of the sharing given at the family Vigil for the late Arnold Sator, March 4. 2017)

My dear brothers and sisters, my dear family members of both Castillo and Sator Families, good evening to all!

Many have already noticed Papa Bebot/Uncle Arnold’s coffin did not have names on it (as we usually do), but a single quote: “Forgiveness is caring, caring is loving”. Tonight this sharing will center on this quote and on the light of the readings we have chosen for tonight’s vigil.

First, we will try to dissect this quote according to three important points: forgiveness, caring and loving. Forgiveness is essentially letting go and forgetting the pain caused by our faults and instead building communion with those whom we have hurt. Forgiveness is when we realize that we too are human, commit mistakes, and harm each other in the process. Forgiveness is our painful yet liberating struggle to restore or even to increase friendship and love where it was lost by sin. To forgive is not really and innately human (as we would want to get things even) but it is a gift of God: forgiveness is essentially divine, something that is a result of God’s grace. When we forgive, we reflect the image of God. Where forgiveness reigns, there God dwells.

Caring, on the other hand, is to put oneself at the other and to nourish the other with what he has and what he can still give. Caring is there when we cherish each other not because of what they are and what they are not for us, but because of who we are. It is unmerited in nature: we care for those people whom God has sent to us. Caring is manifested in our wholehearted service to others and to our unselfish and undivided love towards our family. And yes, when we care, we reflect the image of God. Where caring is present, there God dwells.

Loving, above all, is to will the good of the other. Love is to give one’s life at the service of the other. Love is to give care, forgiveness and attention to the ones that we love: it is not momentary or emotionally-based but it is a choice that we make each day- to give all that we can and all that are for the growth and success of the ones that we love. Young people, we always have to remember that love is real when it hurts: it means that pain is always a part of love, an authentic love that gives life. Where there is love, God abides in us. Where there is love, there is the presence of God.

If we are to even shorten this quote (the last words of Papa Bebot), it would simply appear as one word: LOVE. Love is the one that keeps us as a family: it is not really the common lineage that binds us, but the love that we have for each other. When we love, care and forgive, we are family. In a sense, all of us gathered here tonight are gathered for love: the love that we feel for Arnold and for each other as companions on the journey. And in this night of mourning, remembrance and hope, God is here!

My dear brothers and sisters, isn’t it the example that was shown to us by Uncle Arnold/Papa Bebot? Isn’t his last sickness an integrated manifestation of these three? Have we seen the presence of God, the share in the Passion of Christ, as manifested in his weak body that suffered for 40 short and fast days? Have we seen the words of God come alive to us in these simple words of Uncle Arnold/Papa Bebot? (Here, while I was browsing my cellphone, I was asked by Yangi and Ate Bem-bem if I can provide a Bible passage to cap whatever feelings we had now: I simply said no because the quote was already enough and more forceful than any Bible message in bringing to life what life and love were all about for him)

The challenge for all of us is to mirror (panalaminan) what he has done for us, so that his dying will not be in vain. His life was short, but indeed, it was meaningful for all of us. In one way or another we have experienced his care and his love, even with our shortcomings and failings, even if at times we do not feel that we deserve his love. Isn’t it the time to mirror what he has done for us, to be a reflection of “Bebot/Arnold” in our life as a family? Isn’t it the time that we begin to become more like God, in loving imitation of Jesus Christ, as expressed in the life of Uncle Arnold/Papa Bebot?

Indeed, when we love, what can separate us from each other? (as the First Reading tells us) Can problems separate us? Can our personal wrongs and misdeeds do so? Can anything else separate us from each other? No. Indeed, when we love with Christ’s love, death is not a distance nor a goodbye, but a passing from life to Life itself. In eternal life, love takes its full completion and meaning.

In this Vigil, we pray primarily that his soul will reach eternal joy with God. We ask God not to look primarily on his sins, but on the love and faith he had offered to Him in this life, and the forgiveness and care he has shown to all of us. We pray that the peace that was promised by Christ to those who love Him be granted to him.  And in some way too, we pray for ourselves, that we can become more loving, caring and forgiving like Christ Jesus, as shown to us by Uncle Arnold/Papa Bebot.

As we continue this Vigil, and in praying for the eternal repose of the soul of Arnold, may we be people who in our care, forgiveness and dedication for others, bear witness to that love that gives life, to that love that goes beyond death, to that love which is God’s nature and character- manifested in life of Christ Jesus, his Son, our Lord. Amen.