Love….
It simply happens suddenly, and yes, it’s magic!
Two people from different streams of life: two different,
unique and equally special persons meet in some unforeseen circumstance, flash
the sweetest smiles in the universe and “poof” comes Koko Crunch, not really,
but in reality, love.
And as the minutes, hours, days, months, years go by… how
their eyes look at each other (as if it were enough to melt the other with
their gaze), how they talk to each other (their tongues would have been filled
with ants when both of them go to bed), how they do everything together (as if
the world became a better place with only the two of them), and how both of
them live as if one couldn’t exist without the other…. Hayy, the feeling of
love! Love that could turn the whole world round... Love that made them better
each and every day.
She would always make it a point that they meet each other
on weekends, eat at some nice food joint, and walk around the mall. He on the other hand would make sure that she
will enjoy the day, and come home before 5:30 pm. The guy could not text or
chat her all the time, and so they would enjoy this moment together…. How
sweet!
And suddenly, came the harsh part. The woman knew something
about the man of her dreams, her Mr. Right… and it made her eyes stream with
tears…
Her man was ….
Gay? (No, she knew him very well)
A married guy? (How could he be married at 18?)
A two-timer? (Not really, but how could he be such when he
does not even know dating 101)
No, not of these three. Really…. (Sheesh!)
Her special someone
was a seminarian.
You read it right, a man taken out of the world to be sent
back an “angel”, a “half-priest” (for most Filipinos) waiting for the moment of
fullness, a man consecrated to the Lord’s service… A seminarian!
And for countless hours, she pondered on it, and it left her
on a quandary…
He on the other hand, was always in a quandary. Love was
never a part of his logic class. Mostly theoretical, but oftentimes, never experiential… He was taught to shun it, as if it were the
worst thing that could befall his life as a seminarian… And now love as experience bursts on, and he is but left helpless about it....
But before we go deontological, quote Canon Law and Vatican
II about this, let us talk about matters heart-to-heart.
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A word to the seminarian:
You entered the
Seminary because you clearly saw yourself as a future priest. It was presented
to you as early as the moment you stepped there that those who proceed must
have priesthood as a goal…
Yes, and it remains
true. The Seminary is a place for future priests, not for those who use the
education there as a means only!
But isn’t it that as
you traversed the joys and pains of seminary life, you also were slowly opened
to the possibility of being a married man because of the woman you so love? Did
you feel happy in those moments you spent with her? Did she become your inspiration
in studying the hardest philosophical questions? Did she become your strength
in times of weakness?
And did it distract
you from your supposed calling?
And upon thinking of
it, especially when it is pointed out by some deontological formator, or by
reading your Rule, or upon remembering your motivation… did you feel guilty
about it? Did you feel that you are betraying God, and that having her was a
great sin, worthy of excommunication (if that were to become a law in the
Code)?
Dear brother, yes, the
Seminary is a place for future priests, but it is above all, a place to discern
and listen to the Lord’s voice speaking from almost all directions. If that
were the case that everyone in your batch is to be ordained (even against their
will), will it benefit the Church better than having one or two ordinands each
year who truly present themselves to the Lord for the presbyteral grace?
This moment of love is
not something to be guilty of; this, my brother is a chance to look at what you
are having right now…. This is a moment of seeing what it is to be a priest and
a married man placed side-by-side. As a future priest, you are expected to live
a celibate life: a life without fleshly attachments, a life that speaks to
others of the reality above… Yet, part of you also desires to have someone to
hold and cherish, someone to build a world with, and someone to share a dream
with.
This moment will become your defining moment: what you decide on now or
later will determine you. Life and God demands that you choose one; and both
entail making sacrifices.
And this is really the
point, brother: this is your moment of truth. Choose! And, do not be afraid of
the choice you make: the Church will still be happy to have you as a “father”,
not of the institutional Church, but of your own “domestic” Church… and the
Church will also be happy to see you, her son, become an “alter-Christus”…God
has been generous to you in every step of the way, now you must choose how to
respond to God generously… Disregard the rule, the formator, the persons in between,
and start asking yourself this question; “If I become married/ordained someday,
will it please God and help the Church increase?”
But as of now, it is
good to have your eyes open on every possible side. Vocation, as you know, is
not only for priests and religious….
A word to the woman-in-love:
You loved that guy
because you saw God in his eyes. You loved him because he meant everything for
you. Yet, I can feel your sadness because of the fact that this guy is a
seminarian: someone meant not for you, but for the whole Church.
You knew that once a
man entered the Seminary, the whole Church expects him to become a priest. In
fact, it seems that as the formative years passes by, the Church gets more
excited to see him ordained soon.
And amidst all of that
dreaming and expectation, amidst those who pray for him to fully respond to the
call of the Harvest-Master, was you. You wanted his touch and his smile: you
wanted him and his love. And that, my dear, is not wrong. That is how all
marriages start, all relationships blossom and flower, all intimacy firing up.
Yet the problem lies on the fact that he is called. He is called to something else.
And this is now also
your moment of truth. You are not fighting with someone sexier, hotter or
prettier than you are. You believe in this person also, and you love Him as
well: God. Now is your generosity and faith measured: how much do you love God?
And if he chooses you,
how happy must you be! You are assured of loving someone who is expected to be
a very good Christian: a Christian in mind, thought and deed. It is then your
task to sanctify him so that he can in turn, sanctify you.
But if he opts to
cling to his alb, it will obviously hurt for you. But then again, be comforted
that he is not with someone else, but with someone whom you love too… At first,
you will ask God “why are you doing this to me; why are you so unfair?”, but
later you will also experience God’s assuring love and comfort: if you know how
to let him go…
My dear, at this moment
everyone holds their breath, waiting for his definitive answer. But as of now,
help him to decide maturely: do not make him regret his decision. Because you
see, later on, what you do to him will also affect you.
A word to everyone-in-between:
I only have one thing
to say; stop judging!
The priesthood is
never a more sublime vocation than marriage. Both exist to help each other, and
for the Church to grow in its various charisms. What would happen if all the
Catholic men in this world opted to become priests? Or what would happen if all
the lovely ladies opted to shut themselves in monastic or religious life?
Everything, obviously will be in kaput.
Do not confuse their
decision-making process. It is but normal and expected of them. Instead, guide
them gently towards making a definitive answer. Whatever their decision,
everyone must support; eventually, the whole Church benefits from this process.
(And shunned must be the harsh after-remarks of priest-formators in their
homilies and of benefactors in their morning coffees!)
These are two people
who need direction, who seek the truth. Now, we are all instruments of God, and
whatever we do for or against them will affect us in the long run.
You see, behind all of
these vocations is LOVE.
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As the Canticles of Solomon would usually say, “love is
stronger than Hades or the strongest flood”, given by God himself. Being and
falling in love is a good experience: vocation is really falling-in-love with
God and finding a definite way to express that love.
Love, for these two individuals, forbidden it may seem,
helps them to discern well. Each has a task to play. Each has a role to
fulfill. What lies in our hands is the future of the Church, and our own future
as well.
Choose!
