Falling in Love: a Valentine's Day Musing

"Nothing is more practical than finding God,
 than falling in Love
 in a quite absolute, final way. 

What you are in love with, 
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. 

It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, 
what you do with your evenings, 
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, 
whom you know, 
what breaks your heart, 
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. 

Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."
(Fall in Love, Pedro Arrupe SJ)

Everyday, as I open my Breviary, I see these words of Fr. Pedro Arrupe and immediately begin my morning meditation. My morning meditation essentially consists of focusing myself on whatever tasks I have on hand in the context of my love-relationship with God.

I think of these tasks, and say to God that these are the opportunities he sends to let me prove my love for him. I then think in the opposite direction: that all I do is for the love of God, meant to be received and shared by all.

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Today is really my first time to celebrate Valentines' Day in an extra special way. Today was an opportunity to love, love and love. 

Four dates, four loves... the face of a loving God behind these faces.

First, I woke up early and served morning Mass. This was my date with God. He is my first priority. 

After it, I bought flowers for my parents and went home. I spent the entire morning with my family, helping in whatever needs to be done. This was my date with my family. And I love them so much. 

Third, was my date with my paperworks. Despite the noise of the internet cafe, the heat of the sun, and my hunger, I felt determined to finish my papers. I learned a lot, even if my head needs a lot of draining.

Finally, I spent the evening with my friends. This was just quick: my friends had other plans and other concerns to attend to. As much as I wanted them to stay and talk longer, they had to go. They had to leave, and so must I.

I felt somehow disappointed, but I still was happy... I made a lot of people smile, and they made me smile too.

_______________

Tonight, as I finished Compline, I saw my entire life of love in a flash. A few words appeared which I want to start today's musings with.

Attraction.
Fear.
Moving on.
Regrets.
Starting Anew.
Commitment.

Okay, we begin. The musings deal about my lovelife then and my life as a seminarian now. Note that they exactly sound the same.... As honest as it gets...

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Attraction.
I fondly remember the day when I first fell in love. It was as if the stars shone brighter, the moon became whiter, and the face of the woman (that I saw everyday) became lovelier. Everyday, I would like to sit closer to her, so that by just seeing her face, my day would be complete.

I fondly remember as well, the day when I realized that I was called to become a priest. It was as if the world suddenly became bigger, my desire to serve became wider, and the prospect of accepting God's challenge became a dream to be achieved as easy as possible.

Fear.
I knew that I was in love with this woman. I felt certain that she was the woman I wanted. I felt that I needed to act. But I chickened out. I knew that I was not ready for this kind of relationship. I knew that she had different priorities, and I had mine. Once, I tried to just blurt out what I feel for her, but my emotions stopped me.... I had become weak because of fear.

Once I entered the Seminary, I knew well that God had called me to be a priest. I felt certain that this was my calling, this was my vocation; my means of sanctification. I felt I had to do more, but I chickened out. My subconscious was telling me that I was not ready to commit myself into a noble vocation like this. I knew its demands and privileges, but I also knew that my appreciation of the priestly life was still shallow. I tried to purify myself in another year of formation, and I realized that I was still afraid... afraid of the many risks I had to embrace.

Moving on.
I tried to move on. I entertained the thought that she was with someone else. I entertained the thought that she wasn't really interested with me. I then decided to live my life carefree, not to care for the many other relationships around me. I did not care. The relationship failed. It's useless to hope for something, even just a reply.

Because of certain crises in my formation, I entertained many thoughts. Once, I mused that I was not called after all... everything was just a mix of emotions. Once, I also mused that I was losing my interest in formation. I was slowly becoming careless, and always looked for my own pleasure or joy. I did not care. In a sense, I failed. I considered myself hopeless, I thought that I failed in my response to God.


Regrets.
When I graduated from High School, I felt much depressed. Why did I let my fears rule my heart? Why did I let worry enter my system? There.... it ruined the day and left me broken. Until now, I am still regretting the rash and weird decisions I made. But I know there is a certain grain of hope behind a stack of worries and regrets.

As evaluation day began in the Seminary last February 2014.. I feel a bit depressed. Why did I let my fears rule my heart? Why did I let worry enter my routine? There.... it ruined my day and left me broken. Until now, I am still regretting the many times I swerved away from formation. I regret the mistakes I have done. But I know that there is hope; there is still time to change.

Starting Anew.
Each day is a gift from God. Each day is an opportunity to start anew. 
I still had a lot of friends, inside and outside the Seminary.
I am still blessed and loved.
I am still facing many challenges, accepting new responsibilities and facing new risks.
I rediscovered the things I lost, and realized all of these learnings, in one Holy Hour.

I thought that I was alone in facing my challenges. I did not look to the beyond.
I did not see the face of God in these many opportunities.

And in that Holy Hour, a paper suddenly fell from my Breviary. 
It was a poem..... it talked about love. (and that is the introduction, folks)
Everything suddenly became clearer for me.
I had to start anew.
I felt renewed. I felt alive.


Commitment.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep." (Robert Frost)

In the silence of a Valentines' evening.... 

when all are busy doing their acts of love....

when all are thinking of their loved ones...

I now turn my thoughts to you, Lord of the calling,

the Lord who called me.

Yes, the call is lovely, dark and deep.

I have my promise before You to keep.

And I will walk with you willingly, 

wherever you wish,

even if it is miles away before I sleep.

I may be lonely tonight.

I may not have someone to hold tight,

but I know that tonight,

you are holding me with love. 

_________________________

And that's how I realized that the heart of the seminary formation is love. Without it, nothing, even the grandest thing we do, will bear fruit.

And to end, a special greeting to those I spent my day with..... Grazie!

_____________________

A Reflection on the Regulation of Birth in the light of Pope Paul VI’s teachings

Married person as completely free and responsible co-workers of God the creator is the most serious duty of transmitting life. This duty, of course, has been the source of great joys within the married couple and the people that surrounds them perhaps. However, this duty entails difficulties and distress. I guess that there is not a single couple who would dare to say that it was an easy job.

With the evolution of the society, a lot of changes had taken place. Pope Paul VI, in his encyclical Humanae Vitae, gave few examples of this changes that the society is currently experiencing, but I would much rather like to cite one—rapid demographic development. This particular example pertains to the fast growth of the world’s population than the availability of the resources that the people need in order to sustain. This poses a problem to the many families and developing countries because it causes great demands which could be detrimental to families and to the nation itself. This particular change triggers the authorities to take measures in order to avert future problems.

Pope Paul VI would say that this new state of things gives rise to new questions which have arisen from the minds of the modern people. These questions closely touches life itself and the happiness of man. These questions were about the revision of the ethical norms on regulating birth, family planning, and so on. Such questions required a new and deeper reflection upon the principles of the moral teaching on marriage, Pope Paul VI would say. He emphasized that this teaching should be founded on the natural law and illumination from the divine revelation.

But in this postmodern era, is the Church competent to answer these questions? Pope Paul VI said that the Church is the surest authority in interpreting all the laws concerning not just that of the Gospel but of the moral and natural law.

Going back to the problem mentioned earlier, actions by the authorities were already made to address this problem. Attempts to justify artificial birth control have been so clamorous especially by those people who sees that this could answer the problem of population growth.

In our country today, the attempt to justify artificial methods of birth control has been so successful that it was passed into law. Perhaps, a good number of the people of the Philippines has already the background of what the Reproductive Health Law is all about. Archbishop Socrates Villegas of Lingayen-Dagupan, in his pastoral letter Contraception is Corruption, said that the Reproductive Health Law will put the moral fiber of our nation at risk. He added that a contraceptive mentality is the mother of abortive mentality. This means that the use of contraception is tantamount to abortion.

In this Reproductive Health Law, the youth will seem to be believe that pre-marital sex is acceptable because contraceptives are urged to be used in order to avoid pregnancy. The wide and free accessibility of the contraceptives will probably result to the destruction of families and of women.

But why is the Church really against the justification of artificial birth control? In Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI said that since in the attempt to justify artificial methods of birth control many appeal to the demands of married love or of responsible parenthood. He added that these two important realities of married life must be accurately defined and analyzed. This will shed light on why this artificial birth control is against the Church’s stance on abortion, contraception and other issues of human life.

Married love and responsible parenthood, these are the two great realities of married life as mentioned earlier. Pope Paul VI teaches us that the true nature of married love originates from God, Who is Love. He said that marriage is not a product of chance but a wise institution of God to make manifest his design of love. As a consequence to their marriage, the husband and wife became one and shares everything as one.

Pope Paul VI gives four characteristics that constitutes married love. It is human, total, faithful and exclusive, and most of all fecund. This married love is first of all human because it is of the senses and of the spirit at the same time. Meaning it is not just a product of natural instinct but an act of the free will, that is to say, through joys and sorrows the husband and wife become one heart and one soul only, and together attain human happiness.

This love is also total because it is a very special form of personal friendship bonded by the sacrament of Matrimony. The husband and wife munificently share everything without reservations and selfish calculations. That is to say that the whoever truly loves his partner loves not only for what he receives but for the enrichment also of his partner.

Married love is faithful and exclusive. This means that the husband and wife remains faithful and exclusive to each other until death. Although this can sometimes be relatively difficult, this fidelity is very noble. Pope Paul VI wanted to emphasize that throughout the many married person of the last centuries, fidelity shows that it is a source of profound and lasting happiness to the husband and wife.

And finally, this love is fecund. As Gaudium et Spes would say that marriage and married love are by nature ordained toward the begetting and educating of children. Procreation will always be a part of married life.

Pope Paul VI teaches us of what responsible parenthood is all about. Responsible parenthood means the knowledge and respect of their function which is mainly procreation. Responsible parenthood above all implies profound relationship with God.

In conformity with these two great realities of married life, Pope Paul VI declares that the direct interruption of the generative process are to illicit means of regulating birth. Using contraception to prevent pregnancy is proved to be an illicit mean of regulating birth. Is it not valid to argue, Pope Paul VI would say, that a lesser evil is to be preferred to a greater one. Although we could say that it is true that sometimes it is lawful to tolerate a lesser moral evil in order to avoid a greater evil or in order to promote a greater good. However, Pope Paul VI says that it is never lawful, even for the gravest reasons, to do evil that good may come of it.

The consequence of artificial birth control is that the course of action could open wide the way for infidelity to one’s partner and a lowering of moral standards. Pope Paul VI added another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman and reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection. 

Perhaps, Pope Paul VI’s teaching on the regulation of birth would somehow give initial reasons why the Reproductive Health Law should have not been passed into law. In Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI urges man not to betray his personal responsibilities by putting all his faith in modern means of propaganda. In this way we can defend the dignity of husband and wife. This course of action shows that the Church is sincere and unselfish in her regard for men whom she strives to help even now during this earthly pilgrimage to share God's life as sons of the living God, the Father of all men.

Sacrifice in Love; Love in Sacrifice

Life is not complete without love. Perhaps one cannot live life to the fullest without having an experience of love. Love has been frequently described by many as full of sacrifices. Sacrifice is a significant word; it is not just a simple act that takes a little courage and a mere effort to do it. It is because when we sacrifice, we give up something of great value in order to gain or maintain something, such as a valuable relationship or some other worthy cause.

Suppose that a man has been in a longtime relationship with a very beautiful woman, yet with an attitude that does not seem to concord with her lovely outward appearance. One time, the man finally confronted the woman about her mistreatment with him but the woman reacted so badly about it. We can see that the woman was very adamant with her lover yet the guy, however, still pursues the relationship that they had been into for a long, long time. It seems that the man loves the girl so much even if to the extent that she is already hurting him. But could we say that the woman was really worth loving? Could you sacrifice, just like the man, to continue your long held relationship?

Now, I could say that the woman was still really worth loving. I think there was not even one who was not really worth loving at all. Jesus Christ himself told us to love everyone even our enemies, how can we not heed to Him? Besides we all share the same dignity—being created in the image and likeness of God. Since the man loved the girl so much, he ought to abide or accept the the woman love despite her imperfections. But still he will have to sacrifice in order to continue that long held relationship hoping the someday the time will come that the woman he loved so much will finally recognize his sacrifices just to be with her.

Commonly, when something is difficult to give up regardless of how hard it is, then sure thing it is a sacrifice. It is good to remember that there will always be something to give up when it comes to sharing your life with someone else. There will also come a time when sacrifice becomes so natural among lovers that they will even become incognizant of it.

However, when one’s sacrifice ended up as futile, when everything is not working harmoniously anymore, then perhaps it would be the time to formally end up everything. It is because it causes someone more damage to himself/herself emotionally, spiritually, or at other times physically. Let us not forget to think of values, goals and opportunities in life that lies ahead of us instead of being stagnant to one person that hinders your progress in life. But this does not mean that one should become a cold-blooded lover, but it is just somehow beneficial to think for yourself sometimes.

Now, let us move on from the context of love and sacrifice in relationships. Let us go to where we can find the true meaning of love and sacrifice. When we talk about love, we should not delimitate ourselves from the common teenage conception of love as all about relationships. We should talk about the love of God since to speak about love without ever mentioning God would be nonsensical at all.

I could say that the love of man for God and the love of God for man is the greatest expression of love and sacrifice. When God sent His Son into the world, He sacrificed His Son in order for us to saved from the plagues of sin. Jesus Christ suffered great pain and mockery here on earth, yet he never thought of these sacrifices He was making because of His great love for us. No one will ever surpass that kind of love and sacrifice that is why only God can do it.

Now, could we say that we are also worthy of the love of God? This would seem to be the hardest question so far. Maybe others would think that they are worthy of the love of God, others might say they are not. But actually, the love of God is not for a selected few but for all. Everyone of us is being loved by God, but are we really willing to love God in return? Could we also sacrifice in return for His love to us? Although we could simply say yes, but this yes requires not just a mere single effort but a whole lifetime of effort to do it. This yes entails a lot of sacrifices; we need to give up something that does not please God.

Indeed, I could say love really entails sacrifices and also in sacrifices there should be love. In the context of my priestly formation, I could also say that my love for God led me to do difficult sacrifices. As I came to love my formation more and more, I somehow became unaware of the sacrifices that I was making. It is really the love of God that sustains me in my journey. To serve as a conclusion, I would like to quote the words of St. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians: “Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:2).